Click here to add the
Porcelain Theology RSS feed

Miley Cyrus Is A Jealous C*ntbag

Labels: ,

“It should be harder to be an artist.
You shouldn’t just be able to put a song
on YouTube and go out on tour.”

-- Miley Cyrus, Forgotten Former Teen Queen

That’s hilarious coming from someone who only got her foot in the door in entertainment world because of her famous father. And it’s equally amusing to hear Miley snobbishly throwing around the term ‘artist’ as if she actually earned her standing as one and those YouTube sensations have not.

Sure, screw the average nobody who gets their lucky break via YouTube where everyday people can decide if they like truly something or not. Apparently Miley would prefer it if we went back to when it was entirely up to Hollywood bigwigs and their marketing teams to manufacture who they want us to like.

It just sounds to me that someone is just a little jelly that someone as pedestrian as Rebecca Black is not only stealing away her pop-sensation spotlight, but already has a song more well-known to the general public than anything Miley ever sang.

Please just allow us to enjoy the feel-good terribleness of Rebecca Black for her entire 15-seconds of fame without you poo-pooing all over it with your catty remarks all because your post-Hanna Montana career is hitting rock bottom.

Can't you just shut up and go back to taking candid self-shots and undie pics? Sadly, when Miley opens her big, dumb, super-annoying mouth, she kinda puts a slight damper on my inappropriate attraction to her.

Joey Belladonna Review 3/26/11

Labels: ,

Joey Belladonna: Live @ The Cube 3/26/11

I have never seen a national act in a smaller venue than The Cube in Newark, Delaware. This place probably couldn't hold more than 150 people without breaking a fire code.

I've definitely seen bigger acts in larger venues give less of a show that what Joey Belladonna delivered to an audience of about 100 or so. The intimate setting really added to the fun of the evening for the crowd and seemingly even for Joey as well.

Belladonna had a lot of interaction with the audience from commenting on the many random things the inebriated fans were blurting out in between songs to the things that he was observing them do. Joey even grabbed several people's cameras who were filming him in the front and began to film the audience and the band with them.

Musically, the show kicked off with an energetic rendition of the Anthrax classic, "Among The Living" which then lead into a groovy version of "Medusa". One lone jackass attempted to form his own mosh pit 30-seconds into the show by throwing himself into surrounding fans and knocking them over like bowling pins. This ultimately lead to an immediate ejection as the tiny venue could not support a mosh pit of any size.

Over the duration of the two-plus hour show, Joey Belladonna kept the non-Anthrax material to a minimum only playing three solo songs, two Dio covers and a Hendrix track. The rest of the set was devoted to Anthrax tunes which kept the crowd frothed up for the entire show.

Some of the other memorable songs performed during the evening included: "Antisocial", "Caught in a Mosh", "In My World", "Madhouse", "Indians" and "Got The Time".

The show concluded with a trio of popular Anthrax oldies: "Efilnikufesin (N.F.L.)", "I Am The Law" and "Metal Thrashing Mad".

I really give big props to Joey Belladonna for putting on a great show for a such a small audience at The Cube. He didn't probably have to play more than 70 to 80 minutes to meet the crowd's expectations, but Joey kicked our asses for over 120 minutes and kept us entertained the entire time.

Fred Phelps: Hero For A Day

Labels: ,

Today, free speech won another round in the Supreme Court of the United States. In this instance, it's rather hard to feel too joyous when the winner of the case is the despicable hate-monger Fred Phelps and his clan of crazies from the Westboro Baptist Church.

Sometimes in life, the victory is simply more important than the victor.

On the surface, it would seem like a no-brainer that Fred Phelps’ homophobic, anti-military protests outside of funerals should have been stopped by the High Court today. Americans understandably and overwhelmingly object to the actions of these deplorable troublemakers -- myself included.

That being said, free speech does not and should not discriminate between who it protects and who it doesn’t. Unfortunately, that even includes the Westboro Baptist Church.

Even if a majority of people disagree with the cretins who perform these ‘protests’, the minority voice in this country must be protected too. That freedom is what makes us America. That’s what makes us great.

People in our country have the right to wave a flag or burn it. They have the right to support the government or admonish it. They have the right to march for more rights or against the rights of others. The bottom line is that people deserve to have a voice even when it isn't deserving of my/yours/our respect.

We cannot pick and choose between who deserves free speech. What sounds disagreeable to you probably sounds agreeable to someone else – even if it’s only to a handful of ears. Sometimes pointy Vulcan ears.

Yes, our country would be a better place without Fred Phelps and his band of kooks, but for once (and probably only once), he was on the right side of an issue even if he is wrong about everything else.

TOP 5: Danzig Albums

Labels: ,

This is the first of many future Top 5 lists that I'm going to piece together on this blog as they sporadically spill out of my brain. Why? Because.

This Top 5 was inspired by the announcement of
Danzig's upcoming 2011 Spring Tour. Being that Danzig is one of my all-time favorite bands, here is one random internet asshole's Top 5 Danzig Albums:

5. I Luciferi (2002)

Admittedly, I wrestled with choosing between I Luciferi and 4p, but ultimately I chose the album which I spend less time skipping past songs. If you asked me back in 2003, I would not have rated I Luciferi this high, but this album has continuously grown on me over the years.

This album kicks your ass for eight straight songs before getting into the so-so territory of the CD. If anything, it was just nice for Danzig to finally get back to such a guitar-driven sound again.

Highlights: "Black Mass", "Liberskull", "Dead Inside"

4. Deth Red Sabaoth (2010)

The best thing about Deth Red Sabaoth is that it is consistantly good from beginning to end. After the first couple discs, Danzig albums each contain their own varying amounts of Danzig filler, but Deth Red Sabaoth is arguably filler-free (well, except for maybe the gothy musical piece, "Infanticle").

While this album may not have a true standout song like the many Danzig albums before it, Deth Red is a collection of pretty darn good songs. Loyal Danzig fans have been rewarded with a great modern day effort from our beloved evil Elvis.

Highlights: "Hammer of the Gods", "Rebel Spirits", "Deth Red Moon"

3. Satan's Child (1999)

I'm probably in the minority of Danzig fans who would rate Satan's Child this high in the Danzig catalog, but like Deth Red Sabaoth, I feel that Satan's Child is a solid effort thoughout.

This was the first album where Glenn Danzig's voice started to show some real wear-and-tear from years of screaming at the gods above. Still, Satan's Child rocks pretty mightily and is easily the best non-Rick Rubin production a Danzig album was ever treated to.

Highlights: "Belly of the Beast", "Unspeakable", "Firemass"

2. Danzig (1988)

Danzig's debut album is usually noted as his best album by most... and understandably so! It's hard to argue when it contains three of his most iconic tunes -- one being the mega-hit, "Mother".

Beyond the hits, this album is fleshed out with some of the better songs of Glenn Danzig's career. This is certainly one album that every metal fan should own.

Highlights: "Twist of Cain", "Not of This World", "Am I Demon"

1. Lucifuge (1990)

Lucifuge was the first Danzig album I bought way back in 1990 and I remember it made such an impression on me when I opened up the cassette and it folded out into an upside down cross. Go Satan!

Right out the gate, Lucifuge immediately gets you into a fist-pumping frenzy and then you're off and running into Danzig's finest masterpiece.

Highlights: "Long Way Back From Hell", "Snakes of Christ", "Devil's Plaything"


Agree? Disagree? Leave a comment and let me know!

I'll closeout this post with a video of my all-time favorite Danzig song:

"Devil's Plaything"